Susana meets The Wall

Susana es, digámoslo desde el principio, una de las personas más fascinantes que he conocido en la vida. Y no porque apareciera un día en el aula atiborrada de maquillaje, y semanas después le diera por prescindir hasta de aretes. Susana era tan auténtica como el creyón rosado fosforescente que usaba o el tatuaje que lleva desde los quince años y ha querido borrar desde que vivía en Cuba.

Ahora Susana vive en España y anda por Berlín y quiere conocer África —why not?— y Jerusalén.

Desde que Susana salió de Cuba y yo comencé a trabajar en un lugar con conexión a Internet, nos escribimos todos los días. Siempre en inglés, incluso cuando me dice, meja, hoy tu inglés sucks, y yo le respondo, go fuck yourself, bitch. En todo este tiempo, hemos vetado, por mutuo acuerdo, el tema de la nostalgia y el grupo dos de periodismo y la facultad y Cuba. En cambio hablamos de alcohol, de amor, de sexo y de cine.

Desde que anda por Alemania hablamos poco, el tiempo apenas le alcanza para digerir tanta historia, tanta gente, tanta cerveza negra y tan poco sol. Pero en estos días Susana fue al Muro de Berlín y lo publicó en Facebook. Traté de avisarle, pero debe andar durmiendo, a estas horas, o por algún bar, donde debe haber perdido algunas facultades ya. Así que, impunemente, robo su post y lo publico en mi blog, para ustedes, para que terminen de conocerla, y si tienes algún problema con eso, bitch, go ahead, sue me…

“…and so I was, stood in The Wall. The same Wall that once divided the modern world, the same Wall that united us again after 28 years of increasing death, devastation and horror. And the 10 first minutes, I could only think about Pink Floyd.
(…) We dont need no education…but we do.

When finally, Rogers Waters shut the hell up in my head I was angry, I felt rage; how could people like me, like you, like all of us had followed such a mandes?
I did not take any tour, so I could stand there as long as I wanted. While watching the pictures, reading testimonies and listening the interviews to DDR soldiers, folks who luckly cross The Wall and politicians representing both sides of Deutschland. I was not thinking about paranoia or over-control, certanly not about the craziness of the “antifascist defense”, capitalism or socialism, I was just living in my mind how would it be to wake up one morning and being unable to cross the street? What if I was visiting someone? What if I was in the wrong place? What if I could not go back? I felt despair.

Somehow, intended or not, the orgy of sentiments started fading in. I started making peace with this astonishing historical monster who breaths and hates and loves named Berlin. I declared myself in an unknown state, fortunately, I stopped thinking and start taking shots.
Ever since I flew out from Havana, I have felt more like a prisioner than a free person. This feeling has grown so much in my head to the point I have thought I would not be satisfied no more. I came to Berlin, initially, for a weekend, then I stayed a week, then… The reason is simple, I found happiness in a genuily unhappy place. Deutschland has opened my eyes to certain curiosities.

My interests in art and history are no longer my first priority. People are. I tend to think sometimes, many times indeed, that other epochs are far more stunning that mine. I have taken for granted so much. “The Jewish battle for life is more intense than our daily battles, World Wars are the major struggle we could possibly suffer, The French Revolution was the most revolutionary….”

Important as it is where we come from, more important is our present. The wars I am planning to fight from now on are our present wars, the happiness I am interested in is our present happiness and the way people of my age sees it and understands happiness.

In Berlin, I found confort in unlovable places, but those places are not historical, those places are being builded right now. The dirt in our days makes us messy – to many of us- makes us difficult to figure, makes us less transparent and far more complex. We do not have One Wall to tear down, now we have thousands.

Perhaps it is chaos what makes me feel so close to Berlin, if it is not Checkpoint Charlie, Mauerreste, Reichstag, Jüdisches Museum Berlin, Brandenburger Tor, East Side Gallery, if it is not the smelly history. After simplifying, then it should be the rest….”

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2 comments

  1. Totalmente alucinante. Totally awesome. Experiencias de vida, el mundo es muy grande y tiene infinidad de lugares y gente por descubrir.

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